Hi, I'm a recovering addict.

Anonymous asked: You're beautiful inside and out. No matter what happens, stay strong, and don't use.

Woah I just saw this. Thank you very much but I”m not very beautiful. Thank you for showing your support.

Clean Day 72

People aggravate me, I wanna use. The end.

Clean Day 67

I’m suicidal again. I just want to die. I prayed to my Higher Power to let me die. I don’t want to suffer anymore, I just want to die.

rosesareroses asked: I'm recovering from an addiction as well. Stay strong

Thank you very much for your support… I’m working on it.

Clean Day 48

Hi my name is ******** and I’m an addict. Well I haven’t posted on here in a while and that makes me awfully sad, but I mean it doesn’t really matter cause I’m already sad and that’s one of the main reasons I have been posting. To catch everyone up I am 48 days into my recovery, I am still remaining anonymous for personal reasons and my drug of choice is COCAINE. Oh how I love that silly little drug. A short while ago I was admitted to an inpatient treatment facility for attempted suicide so now that I am out I am attending an outpatient treatment center to keep me anything but free. I still want to kill myself though, it’s frightening. It’s hard to talk about. Thanks for letting me share.

Clean Day 39

I AM BACK FROM INPATIENT WOOOOOOOOT!

angryvegetarian asked: Don't give up! When I was first coming on drugs and while I was on drugs five little words I said often were, "I wish I was dead." Almost a year later, after continuous work with the steps, attending meetings, and a beautiful relationship with Christ I find myself crying in appreciation of the smallest things. I have never said those 5 little words since. It's hard, but you can do it! It's worth every second!

I’m hearing a lot of different things about this and yeah it’s so hard and everybody kinda went through it too but I think this is a mix of mental disorders and addiction so it’s kinda coming at me like, ten fold. It’s just awful. Sometimes I’m okay and then 2 seconds later I’m not. But thank you so much for the support!! 

Clean Day 33

Hi my name is ******** and I’m an addict. It seems that this depression is just manifesting itself in my addiction. It has gotten to the point where I just stare out the window and wish to die. I see myself dying in so many ways. I just cannot fathom living a life like this anymore. Sometimes I don’t want to die. And that happened the other day, so I called, and I got help, and they denied me for treatment. I’ve ultimately decided that death is now my only option. It is a sad reality but I’m hoping it is for the better. It’s just a matter of when is the right time. I have way too many prior commitments to do it now so it will have to wait. Hmmmm a look on the more positive side of my life now. I was discharged and was not sent to inpatient (if that’s even a positive thing). I am thirty-three days clean. Woooooooot. And I’m getting a new car today. FINALLY. My car right now sounds like a goddamn motorcycle. So I was doing my service at the PD last night and there was an aggravated assault and the guy that was arrested was severely intoxicated and all he kept yelling was “I didn’t even hit him that hard.” The detective walks over to the lockup and says, “Really? Cause that guy looked like a meatball.” I laughed, not appropriate, but I was laughing pretty hard. I looked at the crime scene pictures afterwards.. and the guy really did look like a meatball. Sorry that was random, but I just thought that was hilarious, ya know, as far as cop humor goes. Oh and a big shoutout to all those that are supporting the fight to stay clean and all those inboxing and following! It means the world and goes a long way. Thanks for letting me share.

shinypajamas asked: I'm not entirely sure what to say but FUCK YEAH, GO YOU!!! I don't know who you are but I'm REALLY proud of you!! It seems like you made the decision to do this for yourself and you are succeeding using nothing but your own willpower and strength of mind and it's fucking impressive. I can't imagine how hard this is for you, but screw it, right? Of course it's gonna be hard. You just keep right on fucking your addiction in its asshole. Keep it up man.

THANK YOU SO MUCH OH MY GOD YOU JUST MADE MY ENTIRE 30 DAYS FEEL LIKE SOMETHING. Yeah it’s hard and yeah I’m stressed out and it’s not going well but I’m fucking sober. And I’m chewing a piece of gum instead of snorting a line. And that’s fucking good enough for me right now. And now I want a fucking line…. but that’s okay cause I’m not gunna have one.